Recorded June 12, 2021 – Archived June 11, 2021 – 34:11 minutes
TRANSCRIPT
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00:03 Hello, my name is Elizabeth, cottone E. I just turned 55, but that’s all end.
00:20 2021 20:21. And we are at my house in Charlottesville, Virginia sitting in the dining room. And my partner is Jean-Marie day. So should be asking me questions and she’s a very good friend of mine and my name is Jean Marie Vader. I am 57 years. Old today is Saturday. June 12th, 2021. I am also in Charlottesville, Virginia. My partner is Beth gattoni, and she is my very dear friend.
01:05 So Beth, when I met you met you, it was in the mid-90s and you were a few were in the the PHD program in special education at the University of Virginia. I was teaching in a, in a school here in Charlottesville, and you came out to my classroom interested in, doing your research, possibly in my classroom, and that did happen. And so, we spent a lot of time together. You coming to my class and observing and we hit it off really? Well, we became friends almost immediately and that we had so many things in common. We were both Runners. And you are a much better Runner than me but still and and we just, we love animals. We had always have so that we could talk about in our friendship and continues today. So we’ve been friends for so long. You however have just a really amazing story to tell about how your life.
02:05 Very suddenly would like you to tell us your story so far and a half years ago. I had a really bad stroke. Almost killed me before that. I was totally in this juver. So I do, you know, the PHD program after getting my master’s. I was a classroom teacher for six year before that. I got married, and I have three children. Yeah. I’m baking a run in tennis player. Play college, tennis. So there is this old man has a menagerie of him.
03:05 I’m an indoor free range, rabbits, and their dog. So I either before my stroke and now too, I was the primary caregiver to all the animals and my children. And I worked full-time for 11 years. Are you there after getting my HD, you know, I’m then well, I am moved over to be the director of a non-profit here in Charlottesville and a Weekender that job. I had my stroke and it was January 9th, 2017. I was coming back from walking, my dog, want something in my neck, and then I started seeing double.
03:58 So we called 911 and the EMT came and said I was having migraines. And so you know that you were like, no biggie. I couldn’t walk down the steps. I became very busy, very nauseous. And then I ended up throwing up and they just showed me in my husband’s car, and we went to my family doctor, and he was just one. Look at me. And then I had brain surgery, and I was in the weeks before waking up and even then I was so drunk in and out, and I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t eat and I could barely breathe.
04:58 Oh, yeah, so it was a rare and I had to pee and a tray and oxygen tube in my throat, but fortunately I came out and survived and was shipped off to a rehab facility down in Georgia, where which was, you know, I just well needless to say, my children were obviously not see, Dollywood’s 8 and Cecilia was 14 and Marla Hena malware 70.
05:57 I said, yeah, that’s a lot for them and they were there in the states and my brain. And, of course, I’m so honored to be told about this. In my life. And in the brain surgeon said, there has been there, either be prepared to take your Rice home in the Box. Oh, my goodness. Anyway, so that was my story of my stroke. And since then I’ve just been like rebuilding until I reach what I taught myself.
06:57 And wrote a book, which I taught myself after talk again. I had to relearn. How to say? Hello and even. So, anyway, yeah, I went through a lot of therapy. Is that in that continues now and yell. I mean, you know how I am. I’m so hard on myself. So I’m doing a lot and with go back, I had your yes, that changed everything. So I’m parked at venuti study occupational therapy and physical therapy. Once a week.
07:57 GI doctor, at my age is, like, one side of my body is still a little crazy. Yeah, and send your thing and I’m going back up to Hopkinton or some more electricity. It depends on the day, but my transmission is intact. So the cerebrum is okay, to my stroke happen in my shower boat.
08:47 Which, you know, isn’t good because a lot of people died, but for me, I can think I can, you know, do a lot but I just know it cannot walk and I balance issues and fine motor, issues and speech,. Very different. You are a different person. But in many ways you’re still the same as well. I mean, yeah, I told myself when I had my stroke that I want you to just bring sword on this but, you know, it’s really hard to do. Well, that kind of makes me think of another question. What, what’s really hard for you, right now.
09:41 Show. My first year all I did after I had my stroke and I can give them because there’s so much that I lost and there is there so much pain really. And you know, it took a while before those kinds of things. I mean, as we all are a work in progress, I call it my my dark tunnel. Why some people can be there with me and some can’t it’s okay. I mean the star. It’s not so yeah. Yeah, it’s hot and it’s really I don’t wish it on anyone but there are silver. Linings it took me a long time just say that cuz I’m still very angry.
10:41 Free about Maestro is sort of came out of the blue. You know, I’m a vegetarian on my whole family is so and I had one I think over Fordham are so obviously very fat.
11:05 And nothing, you know, I had a lot going on. But you’ve talked about having a feeling your defense mechanism. So, I think I was before my stroke. I was very possible because I have so many and defenses up, and so I could e-mail, this is what I was thinking, you know, so I could go out in the world. My Depends Magnus who’s really? And now, our use the word. I’m very rule. I am so excited now. It’s like the true Essence has come through and all those differences handed.
12:05 I don’t want to say, you know, I need the death of a stroke, but it was actually, there it there are some never liked him.
12:17 What do you think you’ve learnt? Yeah, I have. Oh my God. I’m so we have to really appreciate where you’re in the moment, because my husband was say what you doing next week. I said, I could beat that.
12:43 No, no, I mean I’m here right now and I’m breathing and look at the beautiful scenery and I’m enjoying where I am right now. So yeah, I learned that because I was never present, always going forward or back and I do believe there are so many people that need that sword of mindfulness to be in the moment.
13:19 So anyway, I feel like Society really, you know, there’s a lot I think we’re just but what can we do. One world? And one is supposed to be in the little bit. Like a really young people can be me and people can be nice. I mean,
14:02 There’s no line that close-minded thinking.
14:10 You know, he got you places, but I’m so much more open now because I am always very empathetic. But for now, I can really feel, you know, as a person. I can tell it like if you look at me funny and so cute, when kids will come up to me now, they’re like that. I have a stroke and this is what I said because of that. Now I cannot walk and their children are just so cute. I mean they do still there, but it’s really a thing out of curiosity.
15:10 You’re filled with special is special information. And how do you think that you have changed as a special going to regular? But now I feel like I just told her it wonderful. I feel like I’m part of that world, but I’m also a professional. So, you know that offers a very special thing to see if you have that perception, be from both sides is really. Everybody has a different perception. We never really know.
16:10 What about the store for PS3 negative? If I’m negative? I know, it doesn’t serve me any good persistence. So just don’t believe that you don’t even keep trying, is the Babbling of patience. Oh, my God has for me, because I’m so now I’m learning too slow, missing patience. And then the poor the first one was perception, which we could talk about anything important, you think? Yeah. I remember you saying the other day about patients that you had to get used.
17:10 Ordinary daily activities, taking you forever to, you have to know how to bend. I mean, I’ll set. Look, I hit the stroke and I have to go slow.
17:34 Big one day. I believe I’ll be able to go faster or right now. I just have to go see what he has to do and they hailing of the, oh, I mean, so I just have to, I’ll have to respect our brains and inspired you on my phone and Omar. I’ve gotten really good quotes from them in everything last time, but life gets it. I mean really drives me crazy.
18:34 You’re perfect. Nobody’s you know, I think you have beautiful grand baby look like underneath my social media. I mean you said something. So everybody thinks everybody else is perfect and that there something wrong with them when they looked over. But that person who is smiling doing this, so I’ll be probably has a law.
19:27 Are you not been inspirational? My angel is. Jill bolte Taylor a book called my stroke of insight. Oh my God or neuroscientist up at the Brand Bank in she had a really bad stroke. My gosh. I’m having a stroke.
20:27 Google, but she would call road trip book, that’s amazing. And now I moved move to live on the boat and she just, you know, she believes in, you know, that we all need to love more. Is that simple us as simple and as complicated as I mean, I love that idea of love. I’m all about love. You are all my gosh. The about Thursday. I have a thing. I will attribute my progress which will continue.
21:27 My family was have been too bored when I’m so ferocious and my dumbass and let you know but I’m just friends. Oh my gosh. I mean really I mean Linings of my stroke is that I can see who really appreciates me for Washington, Parton’s my good friends have stayed and the wine and maybe that were impressed only with my Gmail. So, you know, that that’s asking too small, but very, very sincere and dedicated so friends.
22:27 Magical team. I love my neurologist. I love my verification and I love my physical therapist to do today in a way. I can. I never send them texts.
22:46 That’s great. So important. So you’ve really begun to focus on advocating, you advocate for yourself very well. Bigger than that. Talk about your how you advocate for people with disabilities. The good thing now is that I will just start four stroke. So no one is my big going on. I have wonderful guest speakers all the time. The last one doctor about the rights of people with disabilities. We should know that would be wonderful. I mean
23:46 I have a woman from Finland and a woman from Barbados. Do I had the stroke? So I feel like whatever I can do to support her and I made her. She’s amazing anyway, and the woman, oh my gosh. So much as we do, seven people come to vote is for parents who have had a stroke because this parenting Center Hardin. If you’ve had a stroke on top of it is outrageous close to it, you know, that group. Oh my God. I mean, I do right up under Jen. That’s for
24:43 With the second one, what were those really? But with their second most important?
25:01 Anyway, the parents really struggle.
25:12 You have talked about how real it has become to you. Some of the difficulties that people with disabilities face, just cuz the world. I mean, really, you couldn’t have so many different things going on, where you can even just have one for me. And for exam getting from point, B, is to be amine Riri. We shouldn’t care, but we do.
25:57 So those are two things that I struggle with, and whenever I ask face them, I sing the part that, you know, or even if it’s bad or whatever, did you know or difference in the brain? You know, it looked upon like, there’s something like a deficit for sure. I mean, I’m definitely not one just say
26:38 That there’s something wrong with my dad, but
26:46 You know, now I can see. There’s so much. We don’t know, right, you know, it doesn’t diminish, your value as a person and I do often thing. You know, I’m on my account difference. I’m right in the middle of my behalf. So I think this is a really good place to talk because many people didn’t never get better reason boner from meat. Like I said to be here now and just deal or no deal. I mean, you know, I’m learning what I can from it. I remember you saying that your lack of one of those things.
27:46 Really noticeable and difficult because it happened overnight in your loss of balance.
27:54 Well, and I should say that before my show.
27:58 And you can Roshe Runner Omar Mahoney with a physical things. I’m sports, but I couldn’t because
28:37 I’m gone with that. But mostly now I’m more tuned in to just rest here. I have my assets and my heart. My soul. Is this kind of funny? I just have to add that. My husband always thought you were, you were my friend that he thought was so incredibly sexy.
29:00 My husband said he’s not here anymore. Still say that.
29:13 Yeah, but it will say that for me, you know, so it’s important to come to terms with the fact that I mean, it helps when our society to be good looking.
29:38 You’re so passionate about teaching were so Brian, and but when I get back, I’ll be unstoppable. Want to go back to yes. Yeah, I would definitely a stroke advocacy of snow.
30:12 So, you know and so I look at my life before. So there are some things that I do look forward to doing it again, and there are certainly things I would do. So on your way.
30:34 I don’t want to make it sound great. I don’t want anyone else, but for me like a Happy Father’s Day.
30:50 I mean, I have to say what can I do now? There’s so much and there’s so much to do. I say, I said no pressure, but you guys have to change the world. Now I said to myself and now I can see both or should I say this like the recipient and the deliverer. Do you feel like bringing? Have you tried to get a teaching job? And do you feel like you’re treated fairly? It’s hard because I mean, I’ve applied for so many jobs.
31:50 I learned, I do.
31:53 And I think people.
31:58 But at least there’s so much.
32:02 But if somebody sees it that, I’d like to know where they put you in a box they do they say they know where we going to go. Dear me. It’s hard because you know, I before my stroke I was pretty high up. I mean girls things and I have 5 SG and I did research for a long time. I love do years. When you were one of those people that appeared to be perfect on the outside. But yeah, it’s actually okay. Well, as your as your friend, I, I, I love you even more than I did. I can feel like your butt what’s in your heart and your soul.
33:02 So much easier to ask how much more visible to the world. I am. So appreciative of you being able to see that because, you know, a lot of people are afraid. I see people look at me. I am so appreciative for your friendship celebration. I mean, honestly, I really don’t know if I could undo guest card at same time without your support as well as that my mom and my brother, and they are incredibly supportive Joe, so that way you’re very, very fortunate. Yeah. I know I am.
34:02 I think we’re done here.
